Walking a Fine Line

I was going to post about our Easter today, but I've got something on my mind that I need to get out. I'd like to say I'll post about Easter tomorrow, but that most likely means I'll never post about it. We did have a pretty good Easter though.

But now to what's on my mind. Samantha has a "friend" at school who is just plain mean. I don't know much about her except that she is the youngest of 3 kids and her mom just went back to work. But she likes to make of fun of Samantha and I think truly gets enjoyment out of seeing her upset. Her favorite things to do right now are tease Samantha about being in the school musical and about the clothes she wears (even though my girls have nicer clothes than I do!) I guess I should say, Samantha is not the only person she does this to though. Samantha and I have had long talks about what it means to be a friend and that real friends don't hurt your feelings on purpose, nor do they like to see you upset. We've talked about what do when this "friend" starts being mean and we've discussed other friends she might want to play with. We talk about what kind of friend she, herself, should be. And how sometimes hanging out with the bully will make people think she is one too. I've also made it very clear that I will not tolerate her treating anybody else that way. But for some reason, she gravitates back towards the bully. She has walked away from bad situations with her and I have seen seen her ignore the bully when she's being mean in the morning line. But still, almost every day she's told me they've played together, along with "but she was nice today."

Today my best friend was over and we were talking about a mutual friend who's feeling got hurt by another person. Samantha was surprised to learn that it happens even when you're grown up. I didn't want to depress her with the fact that no matter how old you get there are going to be those toxic people who like to see you upset, but I did take the time to talk a little bit about her situation. I once again explained that real friends don't like to see their friends upset. That I'm sure there have been times where I've hurt people's feeling and mine certainly have been hurt, but when it's been on accident and it's not all the time, those friends are ok to have. Samantha told my friend that her feelings get hurt everyday. Cue heartbreak for me. I don't really think that is true (and I will never discount her feelings) because most days she comes home very happy. But I can tell when I pick her up when it hasn't been a good day. I understand that little kids equals little problems, but I also understand that in the limited world Sam lives in, this is earth-shattering.

So, I'm walking a fine line. She is the one who has to go school everyday. She is the one who sees this girl everyday. She gets to choose her own friends. So I listen and we talk and we talk some more and I remind of how true friends should treat each other. But what I want to do is scream "why are you friends with that brat?"

And to think this is just the beginning.....