I Am Angry

I just got home from our school board meeting where they voted to close one of the 5 schools in our elementary school district. Thankfully it was not Samantha's school. But that isn't to say it doesn't pose some possible problems to us. We are transfers to the school Samantha attends, albeight from within the same district. We chose this school because the girls went to preschool on the same campus and fell in love with the school and they are comfortable being there which makes me comfortable with them being there. Samantha is now "in." She can not be transfered out. However we are still awaiting the approval for Lexi who will hopefully (fingers crossed) be starting there this fall. We were at the top of the priority list with her having a sibling already there, having attended the preschool on campus, my being on the PTA. But now? I'm not sure where she falls. I left the board meeting in the middle (yes, the board meetings have been going until midnight the last few months), so I don't really understand the priority list now, but I have to assume the displaced students of the closing school would get priority.

So now we sit and wait. And wait. And wait some more. I've got a select few (but important select few!) of our schools' staff saying they'll fight to get Lexi in there, so I hope they can help. And I feel a bit bad even worrying about this right now when an entire school is going to have to go to new schools, but I am. Worried. Because this school is our home. I never thought I'd say that about a school, especially as a kindergartne parent, but I feel that way. Between the PTA and my volunteer time and Samantha's participation in school events, we know a great portion of the entire school....and they feel like family.

I know we could find a new "family" if we had to go a different school, just like I'm confident the families of the closing school will do, but I don't want to. I don't want to pull Samantha out of the school she loves or deny Lexi the opportunity to go the school she is so excited to start, but if one doesn't get in, I have to move them . Logistically I can't have them in seperate schools.

Did I mention I'm horrible at sitting and waiting?

But most of all I'm angry right now. I'm angry that as a district we had to close a school. I'm angry that parents felt like their schools had been pitted against eachother in some sort of Survivor type competition where one is getting voted off. I'm angry that our board meetings have turned into the maturity level of a bunch of 3 year olds, throwing tantrums. But I am so angry at the State of California for ever allowing our district to be put in this position. And I am annoyed by our federal government (but what's new) that they aren't stepping in to help in any of these districts that need help. I find it so hard to stomach that money can be spent to run Superbowl ads about the census, then a letter the week before the census to remind us of the census, then the actualy census, then a postcard reminding to us to make sure we filled out the census, and then on the news tonight I heard they'll be sending census workers around to make sure you actually filled the census, but not any money to keep our schools open. WHAT.THE.FUCK? Sorry, normally I'd abbreviate that, but I am so angry it warrents it being spelled out. Where exactly are my property tax dollars going? And that lottery money? I am so tired of hearing how education is a priority when the actions of our government historically shows it absolutely is not.

We looked into private school, but we can't afford it. I don't believe in the philosophies of our local charter schools. And damnit, I like our school. And even after this school closure, our district is still in the hole. Crazy.

But now it's late and I'm tired and I should probably stop typing now that I've had a glass of wine. I will keep you updated on where Lexi gets into.