It's Not Luck

It's no surprise that it annoys me beyond belief when people make assumptions about our parenting decisions or our overall lifestyle choices. The biggest, which I've talked about before is my decision not to nurse. I can't believe the looks of distain I still get, even though the baby is now almost 17 months old and had been off a bottle all together for 5 months. Does he look like a sickly toddler to you? Do my girls look unhealthy, unhappy and like they're suffering? No? Than shut the hell up!

The other one that really gets under my skin is when people tell us how lucky we are that I can stay home with our kids. It's not luck. We planned it and planned it long before we had our first baby. There is a reason we waited almost 5 years into our marriage before having kids. For us, it is a matter of priorities. Now, that's not to say that our list of priorities are or should be the same for somebody else, but like everything else in our parenting style, we do what is right for us. We don't pay for texting or internet connection on our phones, we don't have any premium cable channels, we rarely go out to eat - all sacrafices we are willing to make so that I can stay home. So, please don't ever assume we just got lucky. It is a choice we made, planned for and continue to live for.

Getting THE Picture

I, like every parent, has spent countless hours trying to get the picture of their kids. When we had one child, piece of cake. Two children? Not that hard. But three? That has proved nearly impossible. So much so, that my friend Christy and I have an ongoing joke* about trying to get the picture.

*not so much a joke as we're both completely serious about it - much to the frustration of our children.

In our household we've come close quite a few times, but when inspecting the picture closer realize it just isn't it.

It never fails that one or more (or in the case all) of my children aren't looking at the camera....

Or that one or more of my children decides to give us that ridiculous fake smile.......

Let's not even talk about the phase we had where Lexi refused to even be in any of my pictures, so it seemed as if I only had two children.....


Or when Jack got mobile and every picture either had him crawling or walking away or he had something (cell phone, keys, camera case) in his lap to keep him still.....


Or most of our pictures which are any combination of the above.

But this Easter I swore I got the picture. So much so that I even posted to Christy's Facebook wall to tell her!


So, upon closer inspection I realize it's not the best picture of Samantha. And the background isn't nice at all. And it appears that my baby son is flipping me off. But, they are all looking at me without any obviously fake smiles. Sure Jack isn't smiling at all, but I've actually got a picture with Lexi's real smile.

Around here, we call that success. You know, until the next time I decide I'm going to torture them to get the picture.

Walking a Fine Line

I was going to post about our Easter today, but I've got something on my mind that I need to get out. I'd like to say I'll post about Easter tomorrow, but that most likely means I'll never post about it. We did have a pretty good Easter though.

But now to what's on my mind. Samantha has a "friend" at school who is just plain mean. I don't know much about her except that she is the youngest of 3 kids and her mom just went back to work. But she likes to make of fun of Samantha and I think truly gets enjoyment out of seeing her upset. Her favorite things to do right now are tease Samantha about being in the school musical and about the clothes she wears (even though my girls have nicer clothes than I do!) I guess I should say, Samantha is not the only person she does this to though. Samantha and I have had long talks about what it means to be a friend and that real friends don't hurt your feelings on purpose, nor do they like to see you upset. We've talked about what do when this "friend" starts being mean and we've discussed other friends she might want to play with. We talk about what kind of friend she, herself, should be. And how sometimes hanging out with the bully will make people think she is one too. I've also made it very clear that I will not tolerate her treating anybody else that way. But for some reason, she gravitates back towards the bully. She has walked away from bad situations with her and I have seen seen her ignore the bully when she's being mean in the morning line. But still, almost every day she's told me they've played together, along with "but she was nice today."

Today my best friend was over and we were talking about a mutual friend who's feeling got hurt by another person. Samantha was surprised to learn that it happens even when you're grown up. I didn't want to depress her with the fact that no matter how old you get there are going to be those toxic people who like to see you upset, but I did take the time to talk a little bit about her situation. I once again explained that real friends don't like to see their friends upset. That I'm sure there have been times where I've hurt people's feeling and mine certainly have been hurt, but when it's been on accident and it's not all the time, those friends are ok to have. Samantha told my friend that her feelings get hurt everyday. Cue heartbreak for me. I don't really think that is true (and I will never discount her feelings) because most days she comes home very happy. But I can tell when I pick her up when it hasn't been a good day. I understand that little kids equals little problems, but I also understand that in the limited world Sam lives in, this is earth-shattering.

So, I'm walking a fine line. She is the one who has to go school everyday. She is the one who sees this girl everyday. She gets to choose her own friends. So I listen and we talk and we talk some more and I remind of how true friends should treat each other. But what I want to do is scream "why are you friends with that brat?"

And to think this is just the beginning.....

I Am Angry

I just got home from our school board meeting where they voted to close one of the 5 schools in our elementary school district. Thankfully it was not Samantha's school. But that isn't to say it doesn't pose some possible problems to us. We are transfers to the school Samantha attends, albeight from within the same district. We chose this school because the girls went to preschool on the same campus and fell in love with the school and they are comfortable being there which makes me comfortable with them being there. Samantha is now "in." She can not be transfered out. However we are still awaiting the approval for Lexi who will hopefully (fingers crossed) be starting there this fall. We were at the top of the priority list with her having a sibling already there, having attended the preschool on campus, my being on the PTA. But now? I'm not sure where she falls. I left the board meeting in the middle (yes, the board meetings have been going until midnight the last few months), so I don't really understand the priority list now, but I have to assume the displaced students of the closing school would get priority.

So now we sit and wait. And wait. And wait some more. I've got a select few (but important select few!) of our schools' staff saying they'll fight to get Lexi in there, so I hope they can help. And I feel a bit bad even worrying about this right now when an entire school is going to have to go to new schools, but I am. Worried. Because this school is our home. I never thought I'd say that about a school, especially as a kindergartne parent, but I feel that way. Between the PTA and my volunteer time and Samantha's participation in school events, we know a great portion of the entire school....and they feel like family.

I know we could find a new "family" if we had to go a different school, just like I'm confident the families of the closing school will do, but I don't want to. I don't want to pull Samantha out of the school she loves or deny Lexi the opportunity to go the school she is so excited to start, but if one doesn't get in, I have to move them . Logistically I can't have them in seperate schools.

Did I mention I'm horrible at sitting and waiting?

But most of all I'm angry right now. I'm angry that as a district we had to close a school. I'm angry that parents felt like their schools had been pitted against eachother in some sort of Survivor type competition where one is getting voted off. I'm angry that our board meetings have turned into the maturity level of a bunch of 3 year olds, throwing tantrums. But I am so angry at the State of California for ever allowing our district to be put in this position. And I am annoyed by our federal government (but what's new) that they aren't stepping in to help in any of these districts that need help. I find it so hard to stomach that money can be spent to run Superbowl ads about the census, then a letter the week before the census to remind us of the census, then the actualy census, then a postcard reminding to us to make sure we filled out the census, and then on the news tonight I heard they'll be sending census workers around to make sure you actually filled the census, but not any money to keep our schools open. WHAT.THE.FUCK? Sorry, normally I'd abbreviate that, but I am so angry it warrents it being spelled out. Where exactly are my property tax dollars going? And that lottery money? I am so tired of hearing how education is a priority when the actions of our government historically shows it absolutely is not.

We looked into private school, but we can't afford it. I don't believe in the philosophies of our local charter schools. And damnit, I like our school. And even after this school closure, our district is still in the hole. Crazy.

But now it's late and I'm tired and I should probably stop typing now that I've had a glass of wine. I will keep you updated on where Lexi gets into.