Don't Drink The Water

Oh.My.God! So many people I know are pregnant. I guess it makes sense given that we are all still in our child bearing years, but still, it's a lot. Heck, even the bloggy moms I read are getting knocked up right and left! I wonder how many more will discover they're pregnant in the next month or so, you know, given the huge snowstorm of 2010! Congratulations to you all.

So, be really careful of that water ;) Or maybe you should drink it!

So Tired

I am so tired right now and yet here I am. Last night I stayed up way too late watching the Olympics. I should have DVRd it and gone to bed, but I hate nothing more than learning the results the next morning when I haven't seen it yet. And I wanted to watch the pairs skating! Although I always root for Team USA, I have to admit I was secretly rooting for Shen & Zhao to win gold. Their story is amazing - 18 years skating together, eventually falling in love and getting married, and then coming out of retirement to accomplish the one goal that has eluded them - Olympic Gold. In case you haven't seen it, I won't spoil it, but you'd have to be living in a hole if you don't yet know the results. Let's just say I'm happy!

But of course they would skate last, with the coverage ending at midnight. What is up with that? I get prime time coverage, but really? Midnight? And why are we getting it on a tape delay? Last time I checked Vancouver was Pacific time.....just like California. So why are we always getting screwed with the tape delays? You know, it wouldn't bother me as much if it was actually 4 hours of full coverage, but I swear of those 4 hours, 3 of them are commercials. I have never seen so many commercials in my life. I do however really like the Visa commercials, especially the one with Dan Jansen....it makes me cry every time because I'm bad-ass like that.

So now I should be thinking of bed and I have to admit it sounds oh so good. But the Olympics are on tonight too and I don't want to miss them. Although I think I can safely bet on the fact that I won't make it until midnight tonight. My party like a rock star days are way behind me.

Spelling Bee

So I've told you how our 5 year old can read. And how the ability got me past the first round of qualifying for parent of the year. Well I really think we're in the running after she did it to Nacho over the weekend.

While we were out to lunch, Sam had to use the bathroom. I was busy dealing with the baby so Nacho took her (it's a small mom & pop type place with one single bathroom). Later when we get in the car, she tells me there was a bad word written in the bathroom. This is how the conversation went from there.

Nacho: I thought she had forgotten it.
Sam: Nope. It said F-U
Me: Stop! I don't want you spelling it
Sam: Why?
Me: Because it's a bad word
Sam: I'm not saying it, I'm spelling it
Me: Yes, but spelling it is just as bad
Sam: Fine. But what does F-U-C
Me: I SAID STOP!
Sam: What does it mean?
Me: I'm not telling you. You don't need to know. And don't go asking people at school either. You can get kicked out of school for spelling or saying words like that.
Sam: You can?
Me: Yes, yes you can. And now we're done talking about it.

On the bright side, she has a whole repertoire for the school spelling bee. Where they will surely have the parent of the year trophy all polished for Nacho & me.

The Evolution of a Blog

I apologize in advance because I already know this post isn't going to make a whole lot of sense. I've got so many different thoughts going on in my head that are all related to this topic, although most likely do not relate to each other at all.

When I started this blog, it was right after we found out were were expecting baby #3 and it's purpose was to keep family & friends updated on the goings-on in our lives. Sure it was a place for me rant, but it was mostly to brag on my kids. And I love it that way. But there are times that I want to rant and rave and talk about more in-depth things. But I can't because people I know read this (or at least I think they do) and because I see them on a regular basis, I really can't gossip or complain about them or disclose too much of our personal business. Well, I guess I could, but it would make the next get together very uncomfortable for all us. Like right now, I am so incredibly irritated with someone that I would love to blog about it. While I'd love for everybody to tell me how right I am to be irritated, I'd also love the opportunity for people to tell me where maybe I wrong (because I have been wrong lots of times once or twice.) But even describing the situation in the broadest terms would give away who I'm talking about.

And so where do I go from here? Do I up and change the tone of this blog and hope for the best? Keep it as is and keep emailing my go-to friend with every vent I have? Start another blog not linked to this one, which doesn't use our real names for all the "stuff" I want to share, but don't feel I can here? I honestly don't know. I don't think I want to change this blog because I am happy with it. I didn't start it with the idea of making money off of it....but wouldn't that be nice if I did? I heard Dooce makes $40,000 a month. A MONTH! But she disclosed some very intimate parts of her life to make it that successful, something I'm not sure I'm ready to do. And for the record, she didn't disclose that stuff to make money, making money came because she had disclosed it.

One of my problems right now is I don't feel I can be as funny as I'd like. Or maybe it's just as funny as I think I am because right now I don't feel like my blog is funny. I want it to be funny! And while kids are just naturally funny, I feel like I need to blog about other things. I read some really funny blogs and I want to be just like them when I grow up. If you want to know what I'm talking about, check out some of these hilarious women.....Shauna, BooMama, Brittany, Sue, Michel, Melanie, and the really great collaborative effort at Aiming Low. Please know if I didn't list your blog, it's not because I don't think you're funny. I do! I've got a list of all the blogs I love down the left hand side -check them all out.

So I'm not any closer to a solution than I was when I started writing this post. If I know me, it will remain just this blog because I'm too lazy to start another one and it would be too easy to trace back to me even if I did. I'll just have to try to figure out a way to add more of the other stuff I want to talk about and hope I can do it in way as to not offend those people near and dear to me. Much anyway.

Friday Randomness

I unfortunately don't have a lot of time today, so a bullet style post it is. Sorry to those who don't like this style!

• A friend of ours is on Iron Chef America this weekend! Totally cool.
• I'd really like to thank the asshole who let their dog crap all up & down the sidewalk at school where we drop our kids off. Luckily my kids were spared, but looking how smushed some of the piles were, I'm betting some kids were not. I wish I knew who they were because I would so go empty the diaper genie on their driveway.
• Speaking of the school - to the lady who thinks arriving right at pick up and parking on the sidewalk, in a red zone, is a good idea. IT'S NOT. And yes, when we turn around, we are all talking about you. Get there early enough to get the parking spot you want or walk your lazy ass down where the kids are. Oh and I really don't appreciate you coming thisclose to hitting my child with your car, not once, but twice.
  
• I am so excited for Super Bowl this weekend. Not because I really care who's playing but because it is such a good excuse for eating all the snacks/appetizers I love and drinking lots of wine. That and we've got some friends coming over. What's even better than that? Going to Costco the Saturday before the big game and eating all those samples, which somebody else cooked and will have do clean up on. Is it me or do they always test better there?
• Did anybody else watch Private Practice last night? I love that show, even more than Grey's. How odd to like the spin-off more. Anyway, last night's episode was about a parents that specifically got pregnant with a new baby in order to use the cord blood to cure their twin 8 year old daughters. The baby was born and the parents weren't interested in him at all, only in healing the daughters; and then refused to see him when they found out there was only enough cord blood to save one of the girls. They had to decide which one to let live and which one to let die. I'm not even going to get into my feelings about their decision to have a baby specifically for this purpose because not only do I not have time, you don't have that kind of time, but I could not imagine having to be put in the position of having to chose one of your children over another. But the alternative - that they all die, isn't an option I could live with either. For those who haven't seen the show yet, I won't say what they did.....but my heart broke for a bunch of fictional characters last night. And for all the parents who are actually put in this position.
  
• How is it I could remember the whole list of things I wanted to talk about this morning and now my mind is blank? I know, I've got 3 children and it's Friday, but I refuse to believe my brain is complete mush.
• After sitting here for 15 minutes trying to remember, I give up. So I'll end with that I really like to italicize. I feel like I'm getting my feelings across better. I just wish Facebook had that feature.
  

Customer Service or Lack There Of

So I've complained about our Dish Network customer service issues in the past. About how our DVR would freeze up and would occasionally erase all the shows we had recorded. About that time it did it the night we got home from a 10-day vacation. Time after time we called customer service and they gave us the most technical advice I've ever gotten (insert sarcasm) - "unplug it and then plug it back in." I was thrilled to read this happened to another blogger, Big Mama. Well not for her. For her it sucks. But it means we're not the idiots that Dish customer service people made us out to be. Long story short, after two years and getting new receivers that did the same thing, we eventually left Dish in favor of another company.

In the past week, I've gotten two phone calls from Dish Network wanting to know why we've left them. The first call was fine. It's the second one that reminded me why I hate their customer service department so much.

Dish: Hi this is (didn't even listen to his name) from Dish Network. We'd like to know why you decided to terminate your service with us.

(did you not read they 10,000 notes of all the calls we made complaining about the same.damn.thing?)

Me: Because our DVR kept erasing our shows and you were no longer wiling to help us

Dish: You mean we wouldn't help you learn to program your DVR to record?

(do they really think we're that stupid?)

Me: No, I know how to do that. It was erasing the shows we already had recorded.

Dish: It was erasing your shows? Wow, that's terrible.

Me: Yes, it was. And after sending us receiver after receiver, you were unwilling to help us unless we upgraded our package, which we weren't willing to do. So we left.

Dish: Yeah, that really sucks about your shows

*click*

Umm, did he just hang up on me? Guess so. And I'm guessing it's because they had no defense to that. At least the first lady who called apologized for it all.

Apparently, I'm NOT Smarter Than A 5th Grader

Or in this case, a Kindergartner.

(I need to preface this story by saying that one time when we stayed in a hotel (pre-kids), we turned on the tv to the Play.boy channel. Apparently, they gave the naughty channel away for free there. No, we didn't watch it.)

Yesterday, we bought a cheap waffle maker, which we tried this morning. It sucked. I guess a true case of you get what you pay for. Nacho started talking about wanting to get one like the one they had a hotel we stayed at, he thought for a wedding. So I start with his cousin's wedding, but he reminds me that was in a different city than he mentioned. So then I ask him "oh is it that hotel where there was free P-O-R-N?" He says no and goes on trying to figure out where it was he's remembering.

All of a sudden, this little 5 year old voice speaks up and says "Porn? What's porn?"

I reply with a very convincing, "I said park. There was a park down the street from the hotel."

To which she replies, "That's not what you spelled. You didn't say 'k' when you spelled that."

I've got to remember this kid can spell.

Oh and for the record, he took that trip solo for a funeral right after I had Lexi, so I was never going to remember the waffle maker.