Tonight at the girls' school there was a seminar on teaching our children safety while still allowing them a bit of freedom. I knew I needed to attend because it's something I struggle with. Maybe I'd still be this way even if what happened to Samantha hadn't happened, but I'll never know. So we went and it was interesting.
When we picked the kids up from my mom's, Samantha was running a fever of 102. While she had reportedly eaten dinner, she hadn't moved from the couch. We brought them home, got her some medicine and put her to bed. I knew she wasn't feeling well when she didn't want to read in bed. I went back in a hour later to recheck her temperature (to make sure it was falling) and I couldn't get her to stay awake long enough to hold the thermometer under her tongue. All of a sudden I was transported back to that day. Where she was running a slight fever and I found her unresponsive. And we came minutes from losing her. I know she was exhausted tonight and it was nothing more than that, but I can't even begin to describe how it rocked me to my core. I finally made her sit up to take it - more so to make sure she could than to get a real reading. I knew she was still running a fever, although not as high as before. She laid right back down and fell asleep before I could even leave the room.
It is taking all I have to not go up there and sit and watch her sleep all night. After her seizure, we bought the sleep apnea monitor for her, but due to the size of her bed (and her age), she no longer uses it. What I wouldn't give to have it in there tonight.
I know we'll never "get over it" - regardless of how people think we should feel about it, I know that isn't possible. We move on because we have no other choice. We let go a bit because she deserves it. But get over it? Never. It's not that I don't want, but because moments like this take me right back.
And so I'm going to go to bed now because there is a chance tonight is going to be a long one for me. But before I do, I'll be stopping by her room, just to watch her breathe.
Meet Team Lua
- Jamie
- This is a place to for me to rant & rave and mostly brag about my family. I try to be funny, but realize things are much funnier in my head than they are written down.I went to college to be a teacher, but after a semester of student teaching came home and told my husband (whom I married in 1999) I could teach or we could have kids. You can see what we choose! So I went to the opposite extreme and got my Business degree with an emphasis in Marketing and minor in Economics. After getting pregnant with our first child I gave up the business world and became a SAHM, which it turns out is my ultimate dream job. A short 19 months later we were blessed with another child, followed 3 years later by our 3rd. Our 4th and final baby arrived on Valentine's Day 2011. And the inevitable question - are we done? In the past I would have said I didn't know, but after a high risk 4th pregnancy and 4 perfect children, I can now say yes. We're enjoying our crazy life with two school aged daughters, one adorable little boy, and our newborn daughter, taking each day as it comes.
Nacho
My amazing husband, partner in crime, father to my children, love of my life.
Samantha
Our oldest daughter, Sam - age8...going on 16. She is graceful and thoughtful and equally bossy and stubborn.
Alexandra
Our Lu, owner of many nicknames, is 6! She is our independent, dramatic, loveable thrill-seeker.
Jonathan
Jack - our not so baby boy - who just recently celebrated his 3rd birthday. He is inquistive, snuggly, active and always ready with a smile & a hug.
Katherine
Our newest, and final member of Team Lua. Our little Valentine, who is just about 1.5, completes our family and while the "baby" of our family, fits in all this craziness like she's always been here.
Thanks for visiting Team Lua
It doesn't matter where you go or what you do, it's who's beside you that counts
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